Joshua Hilberling Death: Inside the Controversial Amber Hilberling Case in Tulsa

Now part of the Darkcast Network. Welcome to Indy Podcasts with a Dark side. On the afternoon of June 7, 2011, a, uh, 911 call came in as a potential suicide. A witness reported seeing someone break through a glass window and fall from the University club tower at 1722 South Carson in Tulsa, Oklahoma. When first responders got there, they followed that report down to the 8th floor parking garage, expecting one thing and finding something completely different. 19 year old Amber Michelle Hilberling was there, hysterical, holding on to her husband, 23 year old Joshua Blaine Hillberling, who everyone called Josh. She had ridden the elevator down after the fall and rolled him over before paramedics arrived. But what had been called in as a possible suicide immediately turned into something else. Welcome, lambs. Welcome to Love and Heartbreak, to Homicide, your weekly true crime podcast telling you cases of relationships that turn to murder. I’m, um, your host, Kai, and in today’s episode, I’m going to tell you a case that started out as a suicide. But what happened in those final seconds inside that apartment would end up dividing a courtroom and leaving questions that still linger to this day. But before we get into it, I if you want more cases, deeper conversations, and the unfiltered takes that don’t always make it onto the main feed, then join me over in the patreon patreon.com loveandmurder you can join for free, where you do get some bonuses for being a free subscriber. For instance, you never miss an episode. But if you want even more like bonus episodes, after shows, case files, and the real discussions that go beyond just telling the story, then join us at one of the bonus tiers. $3 a month and up. It’s also how we keep this podcast listener funded while continuing to amplify victims voices. Patreon.com loveandmurder now let’s get back to this case of love and murder. Josh was a 6 5, 220 pound US Air Force veteran and a former high school football player who loved video games and his family. Amber, standing at five’ five, was an aspiring Christian counselor. They’d met in 2010, just weeks before Josh left for military training in Texas. And by mid-2010, they were married in a small ceremony in Wichita Falls. Not long after, in October, they relocated to Eelson Air Force Base in Alaska. Somewhere in the middle of all of that change, Amber became pregnant with their son, Levi. On paper, it looked like a whirlwind romance. Young couple, new marriage, baby on the way. But behind that, things were already unstable. By May 2011, they had moved back to Tulsa to be closer to family before Levi’s birthday. But the move didn’t fix anything. If anything, it brought everything to the surface. Their relationship was described as volatile, and there were allegations going both ways. About a month before Josh’s death, on May 10, 2011, he filed for an emergency protective order against Amber. He claimed that she had hit him in the head with a lamp so hard it required 21 stitches and staples. Two weeks later, on May 24, the order was dismissed, not because it was resolved, but because neither of them showed up to court. Amber, on the other hand, claimed Josh was the aggressor. She said that he had thrown a plate at her and even tried to snap one of her breast implants. How do you snap a breast implant? She also described controlling behavior, like him breaking her phone so that she couldn’t contact anyone. On June 7, Josh called his father, Patrick Hilberling, saying that he was finally done. He was leaving Amber, who was seven months pregnant by this time, getting a divorce, seeking custody of their unborn child, and needed a ride. He had even called the Domestic Violence Intervention Services for help. That afternoon, a maintenance worker named Armando Rosales was in the apartment fixing a window in the bedroom. He heard an argument happen between Amber and Josh, and then he suddenly heard glass shatter in the living room. Whatever happened in those final seconds ended with Josh going through that window, where he fell 17 stories from the 25th floor and landed on the parking garage below. While trying to piece together everything that happened, investigators searched the apartment and found Josh’s duffel bag packed and his closet partially empty, which lined up with what he had told his dad. They also noted that nothing looked like it had been overturned or disturbed. But aside from the shattered window, this told them that there wasn’t a prolonged struggle. Josh’s phone was found next to his body instead of in his pocket, which led investigators to believe that he may have been trying to make a call right before he fell. Then witnesses and first responders told officers that they had heard Amber screaming. My husband fell out of the window. I pushed my husband out of the window. I killed him. Amber told investigators that she’d called Josh a, uh, coward just before the confrontation escalated. According to her own statements, there was physical contact. She said that he grabbed her shoulders and that she was, quote, definitely scared. She pushed him away, insisting she was trying to protect herself and her unborn baby. But the push ended unexpectedly. Amber was arrested the next day and initially booked on a complaint of first degree Murder was while, uh, at the police station, she was secretly recorded telling her grandmother, quote, josh’s parents kept saying, if we stayed together, I’m going to kill him. And also she said, quote, he was messing with the TV and I pushed him. She posted a $500,000 bond and was released. But that didn’t last long, and by December 2011, her bond was revoked after she failed to keep her ankle monitor charged. While the criminal case was building, another part of the story started to take shape. In September 2012, Amber filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the University Club Tower, arguing that the window in the building was dangerously thin, not up to code, and was a major factor in Josh’s death. According to that claim, the glass was part of the building’s original 1966 construction and wasn’t safety glass. A window analyst and others supported the idea that the panes were thinner than what would have been expected on a high rise. Armando, the same maintenance worker who was in the apartment that day, also testified that the glass wasn’t much stronger than you would find in a regular, uh, home. If you live in a high rise, you already know what to do. Start checking those glasses. Keep your kids away from those windows until you have an answer on, uh, are these glasses safety glasses or have they been here since 1955? At the same time, Josh’s estate filed its own lawsuit seeking $75,000 in damages against the tower and Budget Glass Cleaning, claiming the glass had been improperly installed and maintained. Then, in January 2013, just weeks before the trial, Amber filled two court mandated drug tests for marijuana and was ordered to be held without bond. In March 2013, prosecutors offered Amber a plea deal. Plead no contest to first degree manslaughter, serve five years in prison, and then get 15 years of probation. On March 8, she officially rejected the plea, choosing instead to go to trial to prove her innocence. Later, it was explained that one of the main reasons she rejected the deal was her son Levi had been born by then, and Amber believed that going to trial and proving her innocence was, was her only chance for her to stay with him. Quote, a person who is not guilty is going to take any risk that is necessary to prove it. So the trial began on March 11, 2013, and from the start, it was clear this wasn’t going to be a simple case. The prosecution, led by Michelle Keeley, didn’t have to prove that Amber intended to kill Josh under Oklahoma law. They only had to show that her actions were, quote, unquote, imminently dangerous and demonstrated a, uh, depraved mind. The prosecution argued that Amber was angry because Josh was leaving her, and she caught Josh unaware while he was distracted by the television and pushed him out the window. Witnesses testified that on the day of the incident, she clearly shouted, quote, my husband fell out of the window. I pushed my husband out of the window. I killed him. Which actually doesn’t really mean anything. Like, if she pushed him and he inadvertently fell out the window, then on that day, she could have been panicking, thinking the last thing she did was push him and he fell out of the window. You know what I’m saying? So that really doesn’t prove anything. She could have been panicking with that final act that she did. He fell out the window, and then she feels like, yeah, I killed him. So that’s why she could have been saying that, or she could have been saying that because she. That’s exactly what she did. But I kind of think if she did it on purpose, I don’t think she would be running around saying, I killed him. I killed him. Ah, I killed him. If that was, you know, the premeditated plan for her to do that. Anyway. They also introduced her recorded statement at the police station where she told her grandmother, he was messing with the TV and I pushed him. And her admission that she had called him a coward just before it happened. I mean, she was just telling her grandmother that he was messing with the TV and she pushed him. She could have been mad at something he said, and, you know, she got physical with him, which I’m not saying to do, but that doesn’t mean she necessarily pushed him out the window. But then again, she could have been confessing. They argued those were admissions made in real time before there was any opportunity to shape a narrative or think through consequences. Then they pointed to the packed bags and the lack of struggle in the apartment and the fact that the only thing that was disturbed was the broken window. They argued that even if she didn’t intend to kill him, her actions showed a depraved mind and a total disregard for his life. Detective Jeff Felton testified, saying, quote, I think she shoved him on purpose. Absolutely. I mean, yeah, I think she pushed him on purpose. Do I think she pushed him out the window on purpose? Uh, let’s find out. Let’s continue listening to the case. The defense, led by attorneys April Siebert and Jason Corns, argued that Amber was a victim of domestic abuse who acted in self defense to protect herself and her unborn baby. They also brought forth the dangerously unsafe conditions of the building. Amber testified that Josh was the main aggressor that day, claiming he had reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders. Like I told you before, she maintained that she only quote, reached up and pushed against his chest to get him away from her attorney. Corns argued that it was preposterous to suggest that a 5, 5 pregnant woman was the aggressor against a 6 5, 220 pound former football player. And these are the arguments that you get into when it comes to a woman abusing a man. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here in terms of like saying is, was she abusing him? But these are the arguments that come up, which is why a lot of men are adverse to coming forward and talking about the abuse they go through with the in their life because they’ll get something like, oh, you’re six five, how can a five, five woman do this to you? You know, remember that episode and I’ll post it below where that guy, he was significantly bigger than the woman that he was with, but she was abusing the snot, the snot out of him. I actually have pictures, uh, that he did want to share with the world. I have it in the Patreon. So if you join the Patreon, um, um, part of joining the Patreon at $3 a month and above, at the $3 a month and above tier, you get like case extras like pictures, videos and stuff like that. So I’m going to put that episode in the show notes below. If you didn’t catch it before or if you forgot it, this guy was being thoroughly abused by the woman that he was with and nobody believed him even though his, he had bruises all over, he was losing weight, she was starving him to death. And I know you’re like, well, why can’t he cook for himself? Just listen to the episode and you’ll see what I’m saying. So the defense is using the obvious card that he’s 652-20- she’s 5’5 and pregnant. But depending on what was happening, like he could have not, you know, he’s not prepared to be pushed. That could happen to anybody at any size. Like now if he knew she was coming, then yeah, I could see. How did you let somebody who was five’ five shove you that hard? But again, even in that instance there’s so many factors that could have gone into that. They also pointed out the history of the relationship, emphasizing that this was not a one sided dynamic. Both Amber and Josh had accused each other of abuse and there were Documented incidents on both sides. For instance, reports and documentation from Josh and Amber’s time in Alaska that supported claims of abuse. The defense used that context to argue that the situation inside the apartment that day was. Was not as simple as the prosecution presented it. Instead, they framed it as a volatile relationship where both people had contributed to the instability and where the final moment could not be reduced to a single intentional act. Then they argued that the glass was not up to modern safety standards and that it failed far more easily than it should have. Amber herself described it as feeling like, quote, the glass was not even there, and. And that the sound was like a small glass bowl breaking. The defense used that to suggest that even with a minor amount of force, something far short of an intentional forceful push could have caused the glass to shatter. Amber couldn’t have known that a simple push would send a man of Josh’s size, uh, through the glass or literally anybody through the glass. They also argued that those statements that Amber had made had been misunderstood. They said that what she’d said in those moments came from shock, panic, and trauma, not from a calculated admission of intent. According to the defense, those words reflected someone trying to make sense of something that had just happened in seconds, not someone calmly confessing to murder. Which is what I was saying. I can’t believe I’m agreeing with the defense. Ugh. Another key detail that came up was Josh’s phone being found next to his body instead of in his pocket. The defense suggested that this supported the idea that he may have been trying to make a call at that time, possibly turning or shifting his position near the window. That detail was brought forth to add another layer of uncertainty about exactly how he ended up going through the glass. So, like I said, different factors. Just because she’s five’ five and he’s six’ five doesn’t mean she couldn’t have pushed him. If he was unstable and unaware, anybody could have pushed him. Even somebody who was four’ eleven could have pushed him, and he would have fallen or stumbled or, you know, whatever. The jury deliberated for three hours, and on March 18, 2013, they returned a verdict of guilty for second degree murder. The conviction reflected that the jury did not believe this was premeditated murder, but they also did not accept that it was purely accidental. I mean, I think the push wasn’t accidental. I think the pushing through the glass was accidental. You know what I’m saying? On April 23, 2013, Amber was sentenced to 25 years in prison, a number the prosecutor noted coincided with the floor the couple had lived on. She was also ordered to pay for Josh’s funeral expenses and a $10,000 fine. During the sentencing, attorney Keeley said that Levi would grow up, quote, knowing their consequences to actions. What the frick. You know what? These attorneys bring in children into it when they don’t like the, the whole case is not about them. I understand the after effects and everything is about them, but they actually have nothing to do with the case. And these attorney bringing children into these cases and saying slick things. It needs to be examined because I don’t understand it. I’m pretty sure even without his mother going to jail, Levi would have grown up knowing that there are consequences to actions. My, um, my mom has never been to jail and I, I know there are consequences to action. So that was a very uncalled for statement. Amber’s attorneys also highlighted the impact of her 25 year sentence on her relationship with her son, saying that Levi would be around 22 years old by the time his mother was scheduled for release. He will not know her. Wow. Due to courtroom regulations at the time, the toddler was not allowed to be present in the courtroom or, or even on the same floor where the trial took place. Even after the trial, there were still arguments that didn’t fully settle. The wrongful death lawsuit against the University Club Tower kept the question of the window’s safety in the conversation, and the details about the glass continued to be debated. While serving her time at the Mabel Bassett Correctional Center, Amber continued to give interviews, including one on Dr. Phil, where she maintained her innocence. However, on October 24, 2016, at 5:20pm Another inmate found Amber hanging from a bunk bed in her cell. She was pronounced dead at 5:33pm and the medical examiner ruled her death a suicide by hanging. Notably, meth was found in her system. Now, that interview with Dr. Phil, I’m going to see if I could find it maybe on YouTube and I’m going to put it out in the Patreon. So if you don’t see it, that means I didn’t find it. But if you do see it in there, then I obviously found it. Amber’s family, particularly her mother, Rhonda Whitlock, refused to believe that she took her own life. Just days after her death, Tulsa Channel 8 news station received a letter Amber had written the day before she died, expressing her hope to share her story and change the circumstances of my own reality. Because the letter was focused, well written, and expressed no feelings of despair, her family and the news station’s producer argued it cast doubt on the claim that she was suicidal. So it could have been that she wasn’t actually suicidal, but if she had meth in her system, that could have, you know, she could have been out of her mind. But then again, she couldn’t have been suicidal. Somebody could have done this to her and then put meth in her system to make it look exactly like this. In 2018, Rhonda filed a lawsuit against the Oklahoma Department of Corrections, alleging that the prison failed to protect her daughter. The suit claimed there were phantom security checks or checks so poorly performed that inmates were able to obscure cell windows to hide their activities. It was also alleged that surveillance equipment was inoperable. On the day Amber died, the estate claimed that the ODOC failed to protect Amber from inmates with, quote, well known predator tendencies. And they said this led her to manipulation, coercion, and sexual exploitation. The lawsuit also alleged inadequate mental health care, specifically that Amber was not consistently receiving her prescribed psychotherapic medicine. While the ODOC argued in court filings that the lawsuit lacks specificity and should be dismissed, the controversies surrounding Amber’s death also brought attention to the broader conditions of the Oklahoma prison system. At the time, the state had the highest rate of female incarceration in the country, and the Mabel Basset facility was operating over its design capacity. Wow, that means it was overly full. Like, for instance, if it said there should have been only 200 max capacity, they probably had 350. And I’m not saying those were the exact numbers. I’m just giving you an example so you could understand, you know, what it meant by operating over its design capacity. Advocates pointed to high staffing, turnover, overcrowding, and dilapidated infrastructure as factors that created a constant state of emergency within the facilities. And so they couldn’t keep somebody employed. Everybody was quitting like that. There were too many inmates in the prison. And then the prison was just basically falling apart. Like physical aspects of the prison was just falling apart. To this day, the case remains a tragic example of a relationship that spiraled into an unthinkable catastrophe, leaving a young son to grow up without either of his parents. It also hasn’t been reported who’s currently raising Levi. So now I want to hear from you. Do you think Amber intended to push Josh out of that window, or do you believe this was a split second reaction that had devastating consequences? And you heard my opinion, which, uh, I’m still on the fence. It could go either way, but I’m more leaning to, yes, she deliberately pushed him. Uh, no, she didn’t mean to Push him out the window. The reason I’m leaning that way is the way she was screaming down the stairs. Unless she is joker level evil genius. I think that was pretty raw emotion. And she was panicking and just in a state of chaos in her mind. You know, she said she pushed him. Yes, she meant she pushed him. And she probably felt that he fell out the window as a result of her pushing him. Not as a premeditated act. But she pushed him. He maybe tripped on something and then fell, hit the window. And then the window was just built poorly and he fell through it. So in her heightened state in that second, she felt like she killed him. So this is what I think. What do you think? Do you think that it was an accident, she meant to push him, but she. She accidentally pushed him out the window? Or do you think that she intended to push him out the window? Let me know in the fake LaM Patreon jury, so then we can see if she is guilty or if she is innocent. You can let me know your thoughts in the comments below and we will conduct our fake LaM Patreon jury and verdict in the next episode. Now, I think in the last episode, I did ask, what was your verdict? I can’t remember. I’d have to go check again, but I can’t remember. But the reason I didn’t check is because I didn’t get a, uh, verdict from the LaM Patreon jury. So that was no reason for me to go back and check. So I look forward to hearing from you on this case. Leave your comments below. Because this case is really like a case where people are still divided on it. So I just want to hear, are my lambs divided too now? Speaking of comments, I got a, uh. Lovely, lovely. Oh, my God, it touched my heart. Lovely comment. And this one came from Ronnie. Wow. They said. Spending my 25 year career in the Superior Court with 15 of those years handling the felony criminal cases, from first appearance to sentencing, I have seen the worst. Joe Condro, serial rapist, murder of children. Keith Barton, deranged sexual murderer, and the Hendrickson DV murder. The case using and reading for the record her secret diary to prove Battered Woman Syndrome. I believe it was a, uh, first in the US but it could have been just in Washington state. Anyway, my point is, I am now 25 years removed, and still I am haunted by the photos, evidence and testimony and confession. I commend you and your ability to break these cases down, using language that everyone can understand to, uh, explain the process and procedures of the system, while never losing sight of the victims. Knowing what you See, read and hear. Makes you, in my mind, a hero. So that, uh, you don’t understand. You don’t understand. Sometimes I just need to hear that because this, this job is hard. It is hard. You know, I’m working 13, 12 to 13 hours a day in the middle of that, trying to be a mother, trying to be a wife, you know, doing all this other stuff. And I’m just reading these horrible, terrible, no good, very bad cases over and over and over. And, you know, I’ve told y’ all before, sometimes I feel like I can’t do it anymore. You know, sometimes I want to quit when I get people, like, leaving me a one star review because I said, oh, my God, too much, or the fact that people get annoyed that I push the Patreon, which, I mean, how do you expect me to get paid? I have to get paid for the work that I do. Um, or if it’s just a case. I don’t. I don’t even remember what case there was. There was a case back in the day. I literally cried on air. Like, I. It just broke me. Cried on air. I’ll try and find which one it was. I think I put that case out of my head. I can’t remember. Um, if I find it, it will be in the show notes below. But I was going to delete it, but, you know, I was like, no, I’m going to keep it in there. But it was such. It was such a sad case with a baby, involving a baby, and especially cases involving babies. I just, you know, it just, uh. But I remember that these stories need to be told. And even though it’s hurting me, it hurt them even more. And the reason for doing it is you need to get that story out there. You know, some news stations do it for sensationalism. I do it to get the story out there, to get the story out there, to get the victim’s voice heard. I couldn’t imagine if stuff like this was happening to me and the system isn’t helping, and I couldn’t imagine. So I speak from the voice of the victim, from the voice of the victim’s family, putting myself in their shoes, you know, what would I be like? What would the frustration be like? Oh, can you imagine? And then also thinking that maybe if I get this out there and give different options or let people see how stupid this thought process is to, oh, my God, my parents won’t let me have this friend, let me kill them instead. And like, you only have, like, one more year at home, then you can Go away to college. Then you can have whatever friends you want. You know, giving them different options than murder. Like, maybe that’ll help prevent a murder, if it’s even one. You know what I’m saying? So that’s why I do love and murder. That’s why I keep going. It’s been six years. And also, I thank you for saying I’m a hero, but I don’t think I’m a hero. I don’t even think I’m, um, even close to being a hero. You’ve heard what, You’ve heard what I said. If I was in the courtroom, if I was in the police station, you know how many people that’d be beaten up? I don’t really think heroes really, like, do that. Like, you know, Superman, he wouldn’t do that. You know, I would. I’m more Deadpool, which is not a hero. But, like, jokes aside, for real, uh, like, your comment really touched me. I read it to my husband even. He was like, oh, my God, that’s so sweet. And, you know, sometimes I need this to just give me a boost to keep going. So I’m really appreciative of it. Thank you for taking your time out to comment. You know, comments, good or bad, sometimes the bad ones I have to read on air because it was just so bad and just. And sometimes I don’t. But I really appreciate your comment, taking your time out to comment on it. And also, like I mentioned the one star review. If you’re over on the Apple, or even if you don’t listen on Apple, go on Apple. Please give me a five star review to, uh, offset that stupid one star review, if you please. If you could take just five seconds out of your day to do that in the description of your review. You could just put, you know, for the LaMs fictional LaM Patreon jury. I don’t know, something all love and no murder, y’. All. You could put whatever you want, but if you could just help me out with that, Go to Apple Podcasts and leave me a five star review that’d be greatly appreciated. That would help out the podcast for free. Um, and, uh, thank you in advance if you do it. If you don’t. Thank you for listening either way. And, uh, that is all that I have for you today. There will be no after show today. I did tell y’ all it’s not gonna be in every episode. And today is one of those days because I have so much to do today. Oh, my God, it’s such a busy day. But as I want to end each full episode. I wanna remind you. Say it with me now. It’s all love and no murder. Y’, all, thank you so much for your continued support. Thank you so much for listening. And I will see you, uh, in the next episode. Bye.

Past Cases Mentioned in this Episode:

An Important Conversation About the Hidden Reality of Male Domestic Abuse – The Case of Alex Skeel
https://murderandlove.com/an-important-conversation-about-the-hidden-reality-of-male-domestic-abuse-the-case-of-alex-skeel/

Sources: (what the sources say)

https://www.truecasefiles.com/2019/06/the-murder-of-joshua-hilberling.html

https://apnews.com/general-news-04b0d50b1de2421d9775600194d9bf98

https://theappeal.org/mothers-lawsuit-says-oklahoma-prison-failed-to-prevent-her-daughters-death/

https://www.ranker.com/list/amber-hilberling-husband-case-facts/berlin-sylvestre

https://time.com/4544125/amber-hilberling-dies-tulsa-prison/

https://www.koco.com/article/woman-convicted-of-pushing-husband-from-window-of-tulsa-high-rise-was-found-dead-in-jail-cell/7198267

https://thecinemaholic.com/josh-hilberling/

https://murderpedia.org/female.H/h/hilberling-amber.htm

https://ktul.com/news/local/letter-from-amber-hilberling-arrives-at-ktul-days-after-her-death

https://people.com/crime/amber-hilberling-convicted-murderer-hangs-herself/